Monday, February 05, 2007

Note To The Unlucky Winners

Dear Unlucky Winners Who Cracked the Code:
(Waterfall, 'tude, Dee, & Runner-up Marie)

After careening all over town, from Walgreens to Rite Aid to novelty store to mature toy store, I finally hit the internet. It was there I discovered the sad truth. When I try to add your prize to my shopping cart–no matter which web site, no matter which shopping cart–I get a message that says: Sorry, The Gold Circle Coins have been discontinued.

You don't have to tell me how every day for the past week you've been waiting outside by your mailbox for the mail carrier to deliver your prize. I'm here to tell you that your wait will not be in vain. Tomorrow I will go in search of a finer prize. One that, like the gold coin, addresses all seven wishes for 2007: Health, Joy, Laughs, Love, Sex, Wealth, and Peace.