Monocular Vision

© Linda Davick
I found the perfect illustration on the sea wall today for my monocular vision story, so here goes:

I saw my eye doctor a couple weeks ago to get my contact lens prescription checked. He said my far-away vision* had improved. I was thrilled until I realized what he meant was that my up-close vision* was getting worse. He said, "Why don't you try wearing just one contact lens period?" He told me my right eye was my dominant eye, and suggested wearing the contact in that eye. He assured me that I'd be able to read the menu at Hahn's Hibachi with my other eye.
* professional terminology

I said, "Excuse me, Doctor. That won't work. I'm a visual person. I can't go around with one eye corrected and one not." But I tried it and it worked sensationally. So now I'm saving tons of money by wearing only one contact at a time. Money that I can spend on shoes and music and property taxes.

My friend Larry told me this kind of seeing is called monocular vision, and he should know. He's been seeing out of only one eye for a long time–detached retina complications–but next week he's scheduled to get his other eye back up and running.

More contact lens tips & tricks you might want to try
•When I go to the movies, I wear two contacts instead of just one. I was given a different lens prescription for each eye. But the prescriptions are so close that I use the same prescription for both eyes. That way, I only have to order one box of contacts, and I don't have to worry about putting the left contact in the right eye by mistake, and vice versa.

•The first time I went to Dr. Mebine, Marilyn said she'd give me some complimentary contacts to take home until the box she ordered came in. But she didn't have any extras of my particular prescription. So she gave me a weaker prescription. When she wasn't looking, I rolled my eyes. But I tried them anyway. They worked much better than my real prescription! I could read the speedometer with them. So I called her back and asked her if she would cancel the box she had just ordered, and order the wrong prescription instead.

A tip for you if your partner has monocular vision
•e-mail from Louie*: PS: Talking about one eye … Luke* can only see clearly from one eye, the other is a “lazy eye.” I know which one is the good eye. So, when I do something that he wouldn’t like, I stand next to his bad eye. ;)
*names changed to protect the guilty

I'm Really A Very Nice Person

© Linda Davick

Does this kind of thing ever happen to you? Does it seem to happen more as the day wears on? Does it seem to happen more during holiday season?
But I'm really a very nice person on the inside.

20,000 Words

© Linda Davick

It happened again. I'm too tired to write anything. And I didn't get any words from Luci today! So I decided to post 20 pictures. If a picture is worth 1,000 words, this post = 20,000 words.

Luci Saves The Day

I'm too tired to write, but luckily I received a magnificent e-mail message today from my pal Luci. One of my favorite parts:
You know what I feel sometimes, Linda? I feel sometimes that I'm just like Eugene Onegin. I'm not authentic, I'm just a bunch of informations that I picked up from my readings. The trick is to calm myself down when I have this kind of realization. I pat myself in the back and say, "Ssshhh .... ssshhhh ... that's okay, Luci. You may not be authentically authentic, but authentically unauthentic." Oddly enough, it does calm me down. I guess it's just another way of telling myself to accept myself as whatever I am ... whether good or bad, whether admirable or reprehensible ... that's the real me. (Luci shrugs and grins).

Googling Guaraldi

I've always loved this music. And I've always wondered who the heck Vince Guaraldi was. I googled him today, and guess what I found out! He was born in San Francisco. He graduated from Lincoln High School and then San Francisco State College.

As well as writing cartoon music for A Charlie Brown Christmas, he was asked by the reverend at San Francisco’s Grace Cathedral to write some dinner jazz. For a ceremony at the cathedral commemorating the Last Supper. It was performed live on May 21, 1965.

Then–on February 6, 1976, while waiting in a motel room between sets at a Menlo Park nightclub, he died of a heart-attack. He was 47 years old.

Our Walk This Evening

© Linda Davick

Pathétique

We had a delicious Thanksgiving dinner this afternoon. The best ever–even with no dessert. Me, I'll always opt for another beer with something crisp and salty, rather than something sweet.

When we finished eating, Tom called his brother. They had had an incredible dinner too, including cherry pie.

Larry and Barbara called us on their way to the airport to pick up their friends from Holland. Barbara had made a pie. It was cooling at home and would be ready to eat when they returned.

Just as we were leaving for a walk, my sister called. She was at my mom's, and had brought a home cooked dinner up from Atlanta in her car trunk. Including cherry pie.

After our walk, Tom said, "I'm going to Safeway. I can drop you at home first if you'd like."
"Going to Safeway! You're kidding." How many trips had we made to Safeway already today? "Why?"
"I want to buy some cherries."
"Fresh cherries?"
"No. Canned cherries. Tart."
"For a pie?"
"No. I'll just eat them out of the can."
"Tom."
"It's OK! I just want some cherries. It's a Thanksgiving thing."
"That's pathetic." (Panic rising.) "Drop me at home and I'll start on the crust."

Tangle

© Linda Davick

Who's Your Role Model?

my grandmother as a kid, Helen Mirren (from Gap Inc.)
My movie star role model is Helen Mirren (Detective Superintendent Jane Tennison) from PBS's Prime Suspect. The last episode ever was on Sunday.

My real life role model is my grandmother on my dad's side. Unlike Detective Tennison, she was relaxed. She had a greenhouse and sold plants. She was generous with her spare change, and overlooked my bad habits.
e-mail from Katy: Please tell me why Jane T (or is it Helen in the Gap ad?) is your role model. I love that show.
e-mail to Katy: Well, both Jane T and Helen in the Gap ad are my role models. I love Detective T.'s tenacity and her good instincts and her good heart, and that she acts like a man at times, but always wears nice clothing. She has sex and drinks good drinks, too.

My Baby's Back

top: my adopted child
bottom: my natural baby

On October 20, 2005, I had to take my heart of hearts–my PowerBook G4–to the repair shop. The repair guy loaned me an old iBook to use until he could figure out what was wrong with my computer.

I attempted to bring my baby home several times, but in vain. Even after two transplants (hard drive, mother board), it still was not well. Meanwhile I used the adopted iBook every day and every night.

October 2006 arrived. Then–you guessed it–November. It had been more than a year, and I felt I had to move forward. I decided to let go of my natural child. Thanksgiving was almost here. I decided to give thanks for the loaner, and to make it my own. I gathered all my favorite stickers and lovingly stuck them on the adopted iBook to show it my appreciation.

The next day I had an e-mail from the repair guy. My natural baby had totally recovered. When would I like to come get it, and bring the loaner back to him?

This morning I went to pick up my baby. I asked if I could keep the loaner over Thanksgiving weekend, just in case. It's going to be hard to let go of my iBook, because now I find I love my adopted child every bit as much as I do my natural baby.

From: Aggles
Subject: Sticker shock
Date: November 21, 2006 6:42:11 AM PST
So will you turn in the loaner w/ all the stickers or will you try to take them off? Where did you get those stickers? Did you make them? Do I hafta call the police?

Conservatory of Flowers 5K

me, Tom, and fast Emmy

To prepare for this morning's race, I carbo-loaded last night at Running With Scissors (large popcorn). When I got home, I force-fed myself a big bowl of spaghetti with tomato and basil sauce and made myself drink a Corona. My time this morning was 29 minutes and some seconds. Emmy beat me. I just don't understand that.

Notes to Myself:
-Get a new running outfit because all the photos are starting to look the same.
-Make Tom carry the camera next time.
-Download better running music ... "If Loving You Is Wrong" by Cassandra Wilson isn't peppy enough.

My Personal Relationship With Eddie

Some people say they have a personal relationship with God, and it makes me want to have one. But it's hard for me to feel intimate with somebody I have to call "God." I thought if I came up with a more personal name for God, it might make us closer. There are no other Eddie's in my life at this time, so I decided to call God "Eddie."

At first it seemed strange. I would say, "Eddie, please, please be with me and help me to think clearly before acting." When I barely escaped being hit by a car while running for the bus, I put my hand over my heart and whispered, "Thank you, Eddie, Oh thank you." Several times lately I've begged, "Eddie, as I get older, please never allow me to shuffle around the house instead of walking."

Today I was in the shower. All at once the shower curtain rod lost its grip and started sliding down the wall. As it crashed to the floor on top of the shower curtain and water went everywhere, I shouted, "OH EDDIE, please–NO!"

I know that Emmy and John, who were working outside, probably wondered.

DAVe Live In Person

me and DAVe

My favorite artist, DAVe Warnke, was at Timbuk2 this evening making art to raise money for his "Street Art" program for high school kids. Instead of the 3 "R's," he teaches the 3 "P's":

Purpose: What is the purpose of your art? Is it personal, political, or something else?

Placement: If you put your art on a trashcan or a park bench or a telephone pole, does it beautify the park bench, or does it destroy the park bench?

Permission: It's usually a good thing if you can get permission to place your art.




DAVe painting my elephant.












Dave Warnke
The Vortex Flower
Mixed media on canvas
24 x 24 inches
2005
$800
Available at HANG annex

Character Development

© Linda Davick

One of my favorite assignments is character development. Jon Carroll says that it's usually a good sign if when you're writing, you catch yourself laughing out loud. Or crying. I think the same is true of drawing. This guy was rejected, but I like him anyway. As you may suspect, this work develops my character more than anybody else's.

Talking To My Mom

I talked to my mom yesterday. By the time I hung up, two pages covered with creatures had materialized. This guy was my favorite.

Scenes From A Marriage

old photo
by David Luttrell


Are you under 40? Stop reading.

Rules:
1. Tom and I choose a night.
2. Every week on that night we get in bed at the same time.
3. But it has to be before 10:00.
4. We turn off the light, turn off the TV, turn off the computer.
5. No pajamas allowed.
6. We must remain in this state for at least one hour. Once that hour is over, we're free to get up and move about the cabin. We can go back to work if necessary.
Note: Do not try this at home. It won't work unless you're paying a counselor and he's threatening to stop seeing you unless you do it.

Saturday is the night we chose. Here's Scene 1 from last night:
A little background: I had put nail polish on that morning for the 2nd time in my life.

Linda: Feel my fingernails.
Tom: Oh. They feel like the smooth plastic on those model cars. Did you ever buy model cars? You know, those model cars in boxes that you'd buy at the drugstore?
Me: No. Only monsters.
Tom: You never had model cars?
Me: No, only monsters. Same thing–you'd put them together and paint them. Did you ever build monsters?
Tom: No. Those were after my time.
Me: But you know what I'm talking about, don't you?

THUMP!

Tom: What was that?
Me: I don't know! Do you believe in spirits?
Tom: No.
Me: Then maybe you should go investigate.
Tom: I should go investigate?
Me: Yes–you're the man. It's your responsibility.
Tom: But I don't have any clothes on!

I Care.

Maira Kalman



Have you seen Maggie Mason's new book No One Cares What You Had for Lunch? It looks like a great book; but I want to make it clear that I care what you had for lunch. I really care. I love knowing what you had for lunch. And breakfast. And dinner. And snacks.

a recent e-mail that I've read over and over: I had a good pasta dinner tonight, I wish you'd been here, I've never really cooked you a good dinner. And this was done on a hot plate: cilantro, garlic, and shiitake mushrooms, cooked in butter, over butterfly/bowtie pasta, bread to push with and beer to drink. A little parmesan if you want it. Cilantro from my yard---the frost hasn't yet ruined it, I don't know why. My name is Cilantrogirl and I'm your waitress this evening.

an e-mail from this morning: I'm enjoying my last minutes of break time now. Happily sipping the jasmine tea that aunty Rose sent for me. It tasted like any other tea to me, but it certainly smells like jasmine, and I'm eating spicy nacho Doritos...
I was humming and swinging my legs while crunching the tortilla chips. Michael turned around and said, "Must be good."
Yes, indeed it was. Jasmine tea and Doritos turned out to be a good combination.

Now I'll tell you what I had for lunch because you'll want to know about this: Dr. Praeger's tex mex veggie burgers from Trader Joe's frozen food section. Unbelievable! Use a fresh sesame bun loaded with half a sliced avocado, Mendocino mustard, red onions, ketchup, lettuce, and jack cheese. A Speakeasy on the side. There are no microwave directions on the box–even so, we stuck the burgers in the microwave for 2 minutes; then 1 minute with cheese. Dr. Praeger puts boca burgers to shame.

Shameless Advertising

© Linda Davick

Just in: This link to my pictures in the 2007 illustration directory I advertise in. I'm among an incredible group of illustrators! David Goldman is the ringleader. Don't ask me how I got there. It's one of the happiest mysteries of my life.

Happy Birthday, Katy

© Linda Davick

Introducing Blinky, the big sweet orange cat who lives with Katy.

Sweet Dreams

© Linda Davick


One of those days. Working with html is like working with a cranky demented person who holds a grudge against me. Good night. In my dreams everything will line up the way it's supposed to.

My Celebrity Look-alikes

I checked out Nina's blog this morning and saw that she'd put her picture through a celebrity look-alike face-recognition program and it told her she looked like Elizabeth Hurley. So I tried the celebrity look-alike program as well, and found out that I looked like Winston Churchill.

You can do it too! Just hit the Want one too? link (bottom right) and upload an attractive photo of yourself.

The Dock Of The Bay

This is the first album I ever owned. I bought it at Woolworth's for $3.99.
What was the first album you ever bought?
The last album (download) I bought was "Reveries" by Paolo Conte, an old white guy.
What about you?

Great Highway Run

me, Tom, Emmy
This morning there was another race. This time it was a 4-miler, up and down a stretch of the Great Highway, by the ocean. (Dolphin South End Runners Club.) My time was 40 minutes and some seconds. Damn, if Emmy didn't come in right behind me.

Oh! I almost left out the most important part. Carbo-loading the night before: Magnificent takeout from Shanghai Dumpling King on Balboa. (Great tip, Mary Ann.) Vegetable & Pork Steamed Dumplings, Green Onion Pancakes, Chicken & Corn Soup, and Braised String Beans. Beer with lime. 2 Halloween ReeseSticks.

Fosamax Chronicles: 7:40 am

bone property of Dogbark.com, my great web host



Tom, in pajamas: Have you already had a shower???!
Me, in jeans: Yes. I couldn't bend my esophagus for one half hour.
Tom, looking at clock: But now you can start throwing stuff down your gullet.

While I was waiting to throw stuff down my gullet, here's what else I did. I googled Paolo Conte in order to figure out the very best album to download for Katy's birthday. OK, and I might make a copy for myself, too. This was the first reference that came up, and I decided to play the game. Here's how:

1. Put your MP3 player on shuffle.
2. Press forward with every question.
3. The song is the answer to the question.

Here's how it went for me. Very funny! Spooky, too.

1. How am I feeling today?
Young and Free - Sasha Dobson

2. Will I get far in life?
Fever - Dave's True Story

3. How do my friends see me?
Fallin' - Alicia Keys

4. When will I get married?
Kiss Me Quick - Dave's True Story

5. What is your best friend's theme song?
If Loving You Is Wrong - Cassandra Wilson

6. What is the story of my life?
Daddy-o - Dave's True Story

7. What was high school like?
Runnin' Down a Dream - Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers

8. How am I going to get ahead in life?
Citywide Rodeo - The Weepies

9. What is the best thing about me?
If Not For Dreams - Sasha Dobson

10. How is today going to be?
Bossy - Kelis

11. What is in store for the weekend?
Suicide Blond - The Weepies

12. What song describes your parents?
Miss You - Bossa & Stones

13. How is my life going?
Under My Thumb - Bossa & Stones

14. What song will be played at my funeral?
Out of Time - Astrud C./Bossa & Stones

15. How does the world see me?
The World Spins Madly On - The Weepies

16. Will I have a happy life?
Slow Pony Home - The Weepies

17. What do my friends think of me?
Throw It Away - Cassandra Wilson

18. How can I make myself happy?
Fool To Cry - Lima Moananu/Bossa & Stones

19. What should I do with my life?
Emotional Rescue - Freedom Dub

20. Will I ever have children?
Follow Through - Sasha Dobson

21. What is some good advice for me?
Flawless - Hedda Layne

22. What is my signature song?
Sex Without Bodies - Dave's True Story

23. What do I think my current theme song is?
Sandman - Dave's True Story

24. What does everyone else think my theme song is?
Crazy Eyes - Dave's True Story

25. What's your style?
Sleight Of Time - Cassandra Wilson

26. What kind of lover are you?
Heaven Knows - Cassandra Wilson

27. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Let's Spend The Night Together - Bossa & Stones

Now you can play. If you don't have an MP3 player, you can order one here for $79. (Just go ahead and charge it; the shipping is free.) Plus, if you buy it online, you can get it engraved for free–with something like: for me with love, I hope you like it!

Clarification

I got many serious e-mail messages in response to my post about the Calorie Restriction Diet yesterday. An example:

I did very briefly scan the article but, gosh, why add one more burden to my life? I’m not so much interested in maintenance (‘cept w/ my car) as I am w/ living. I know there’s a balance but when so much of one’s life is involved in working (and commuting) the last thing one wants to think about is bodily maintenance. D’rather practice piano or set up my sewing machine table than spend time shopping for and cooking healthy calorie restrictive meals. I know it’s wrong of me but…

The last thing I meant to do was inspire guilt. The diet was something I had been wondering about in theory only. You would have to have many interests outside food to be able to carry it off. To reassure you, I'm re-posting a photo of the real me (above).

Life Extension And Love

I had lunch with two buddies yesterday. One was telling how her husband told her every morning how much he loved her. I felt a twinge of envy.

Did you read the article in the NY Times yesterday (front page of science section) about how you can live lots longer if you eat a certain type of calorie restricted diet? Fascinating in so many ways–the least of which, to me, is the longevity part. It's New York magazine's cover story this week, too: The Diet To End All Diets: The radical premise of the Calorie Restriction Diet is the less you eat the longer you'll live (weight loss and better sex a bonus).

Tom had a meeting last night. Yes, on Halloween! When he called at 9:30 and said he was on his way home and hadn't eaten, I was horrified. I started going through the cabinets, trying to find something to have ready. The cupboard was bare. I thought about what I had read in the paper. I put together a Calorie Restriction Diet plate for him. (Above).

The next morning I was telling him about the article, explaining that it's exactly what I had been wondering about lately: How little one could eat, but still get enough nutrients to be really healthy. (Just in theory, of course.) I pointed out that if every evening he ate the type of dinner I made him last night, he might in fact live 40 years longer.

"But I don't want to live 40 years longer than you. So you'd have to do this, too."

It was my husband saying how much he loved me.