Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Go Inside

I was a substitute writing partner again today and the title was Go Inside.

The photo is of the Coastal Trail this evening ... all I can say is, it sure helped to go outside
for a little while.

Mom, who has always been prone to depression, seems to be having an extra hard time lately. And her memory is off the charts. Her despair rubs off on Aggles and me.

This week Aggles sent me a book, ostensibly from Mom, called "Breath by Breath: The Liberating Practice of Insight Meditation."

On the title page is something that Aggles prompted my mom to write. It turned out like this:

"Ha Birthday, Linda! 2000
Read this Book!
And start meditating"

Mom has always been more than generous with us. Before she put the birthday card in front of Mom for her to sign, Aggles asked, "Mom, do you want to include anything else in with this card?"

Mom said, "What do you mean?"

Aggles: "A birthday check, maybe?"

Mom: "Oh. I guess so! Thank you for reminding me."

Aggles: "How much would you like to make it for?"

Mom: "... Seven dollars? Do you think that's enough?"

Aggles: "It's up to you ..."

Mom: "Well how about eight then."

Anyway, when I got the book, I opened it up. This is the page and paragraph that my eye went to:

(page 91)

"We want to look everywhere but inside ourselves for our problems. As long as we do that, we will never get to the root of them. Several years ago, my practice took a real turn when a certain conclusion became overwhelmingly clear: there is no escape from suffering. Realizing that fact gave me a whole new energy for practice, a kind I'd never had before."

Just so you know: I hate it when someone tells me to look inside myself for answers. I hate it and I hate it!