Monday, February 11, 2008

Romance Tips

Valentine's Day is coming up. Here's a romance tip for guys, and one for girls.

Romance Tip for Guys
Scenario: An unidentified couple walks hand in hand on the beach. The sun is setting.

Unidentified Woman: I can't understand it. The scale says I've gained three pounds. Do you think the scale needs a new battery? Oh well. We did order that large vegetarian pizza with sausage last night. It's probably the pizza.

Unidentified Man:
But how could that be? The pizza itself didn't weigh three pounds to begin with.

Guys, do not model yourself after this unfortunate unidentified man!

Romance Tip for Girls

As mentioned above, Valentine's Day is Thursday. How does one prepare for the sexiest night of the year? Lose the Green Eggs & Ham t-shirt, because this occasion calls for an even more sophisticated type of elegance than usual. Sleepwear with a sheer, forbidden, ineffable quality is a must (see glamorous unidentified model below).
p.s. What I'd really like to know is: What do you sleep in?