Friday, December 12, 2008

2 Confessions: TomToms and Slim Jims

Confession #1: TomToms

Mom: Journey was over here today!

Me: I know, Mom! She came in while we were talking this afternoon. Did you two go anywhere?

Mom: We went for a ride ... But Honey! Do you know what a TomTom is?

Me: Well I know Journey sings and plays the flute ... Is it a drum? Did Journey bring a drum over?

Mom: NO! (laughs uproariously). It's a little tiny thing in her car. It's called a TomTom. I can hold it in one hand. I held it in my right hand. It has a glass front. But you can't see through the glass. You tell it where you want to go and it talks back to you! It tells you when to turn right or left! How does it work? That's what I can't figure out.

Before we hung up, I warned Mom that she might not be able to get in touch with me tonight, as it's Friday and Tom and I might go somewhere. Not to mention that this was the third time we had talked today.

When we finally did hang up I googled TomTom to check up on this business, and it took me straight to I saw an array of tiny instruments with glass fronts that talked to you. My 89 year-old Mom with dementia introduced me to TomTom's.

This evening instead of going to a movie or out for a drink, Tom and I went for a jog on the beach. We were stretching in the dark when my phone rang. I saw that it was Mom. The wind was howling; it was cold; I was tired; I didn't answer. When we got home my phone beeped signaling a message. (A ten-minute message!) I was too tired to listen. A few minutes later my phone rang again. I sighed and picked it up.

Me: Hello?

Mom: Honey! How are you? Say, do you know what a TomTom is?

Confession #2: Slim Jims

Our mouse was not the slightest bit interested in our Hav-a-Heart trap. When we told Larry that we put organic peanut butter in the trap he laughed. Everybody knows that mice don't like organic peanut butter! He said his professional pest control person uses a Slim Jim cut up into tiny pieces, and that Slim Jims work every time. It's a fundamental truth that rodents love Slim Jims.

So we got rid of the organic peanut butter traps and Tom came home with another trap and a Slim Jim. I ripped open the Slim Jim, and began cutting it up. Then I ate the Slim Jim.

If you have a confession you'd like to share, I'd be grateful to hear it.