Saturday, November 17, 2007

Visiting Mom: The Lighter Side














The last time Mom and I had our dinner and symphony night out, it was a fight to the finish. It took hours to get ready to go. Then with my bad sense of direction, it took me awhile to find the Choo-Choo, her favorite restaurant. We ended up in our seats at the Tivoli Theatre one second before the music started. So last night we made a resolution to stick to a meticulous schedule. We decided to start getting ready to go at 3:30.

At exactly 3:30, Mom's psych nurse knocked on the door. It was time for Mom's weekly session. (News to me.) But I was so glad to get the opportunity to meet her that I decided it was worth another fight to the finish. I asked if it was OK if I stayed. Marian said it was up to Mom, and Mom said yes.

Mom had forgotten who Marian was, and thought she had come to look at her arm, which was in a brace.

Psych Nurse: I'm not your physical therapist. I'm your mental therapist.
Mom: Can you do anything for my brain?
Psych Nurse: The question is, can you do anything for your brain. I see you get the newspaper.
Mom: Yes.
Psych Nurse: Do you get it every day?
Mom: Yes.
Psych Nurse: Do you do the crossword puzzle? Remember I told you to do crossword puzzles?
Mom, sheepishly: No. Would that really help?
Psych Nurse: Anything you do to exercise your brain will help your brain.
Mom: But I've just never been a crossword puzzle person. I like to read the paper. Does that count?
Psych Nurse: You read the paper? Marian looks at me. Does she retain ideas about articles she reads? Does she discuss what she's read on the phone with you?
I nod affirmatively, suddenly nervous that my ignorance of current events is about to be revealed.
Psych Nurse: What have you read about recently?
Mom: Stem .... stem ...oh, what are those little tiny things called.
And before I know what's happened, Mom and Marian are having a fight about the use of stem cells.
Mom: I'm for it! Our President isn't and I think he's making a mistake.
Marian: He isn't against it! He's just against using aborted fetuses! He's not against it.
Mom: He is against it. And why not use aborted fetuses? I think we should recycle anything that can be reused for the good of mankind, don't you?
Marian: He is not against it. You can't believe everything you read in the press.

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Later, during intermission at the symphony having heard Peter Schickele's Unbegun Symphony and Piazzolla's The Four Seasons of Buenos Aires

Me: Mom? Are you ready to go?
Mom: Are you?
Me: I really enjoyed the first half! I'd feel fine leaving now.
long silence
Me: Did you enjoy the first half?
Mom: No I didn't.
Me: Why?
Mom: I couldn't tell when anyone was making a mistake.
We stayed on for Haydn's Symphony 104, which she really enjoyed.