Barbara gave me this button a long time ago. I don't know why, because I never cry. Then yesterday, I started crying. For no reason. But why? I'm happy! I was told that you don't have to know why; that if nothing else, it's a good exercise–kind of like doing yoga. That when you're feeling more joy, you also find yourself feeling more sadness, and then you're able to feel more joy. (I hate this zigzag stuff. Who invented it? I like following a line straight to joy, and then directly on to more joy.)Me: It must just be the holidays.
10 minutes later
Me: This isn't real crying. It's fake.
10 minutes later
Me: This is crazy! (eyes and nose dripping all over the carpet.) I have a good life.
10 minutes later
Me: Oh, I know what it is. It's because I drank too much coffee this morning.
My counselor, throwing up his hands: Yes. It must be the coffee. I'm glad we finally figured it out.
Tonight was the final meeting of my online class. It was funny! During the last two minutes, suddenly everyone realized it really was over, and a flurry of messaging sprang up. Thanks were given. E-mail addresses were quickly exchanged. Apparently some kind of human bond had slipped through our computer connection over the course of the class. It completely snuck up on me. Suddenly I was sad! I typed, "I'm sad." Tina typed, "I am too!" I typed, "I'm signing up for MMST 231." Sylvia typed, "Me too. I'm excited!" All's well that ends well, and points straight toward a new beginning, no zigzagging.
