from Katy: September 24, 2007 5:34:31 PM PDT
Did you really used to hate your house? What happened? I know you've worked a lot on it, but what else, what happened? What's the story of the transformation?
then katy said...
Was there a turning moment---a new floor, a cabinet, a sink, a good workman, a perspective from the table or chair or bed or stove, that revealed a change in the works? I really want a tale of symbolic change. Is there such a tale?
still wondering said...
Symbols of transformation, yes or no?...or is that too....psychological for something so practical
Katy's referring to the post where I told about going from hating our house to loving it. Moving to San Francisco wasn't supposed to be like moving to a prison camp. But that's what it felt like for a long time. The change that was revealed was in me as much as the house. (Violin music swells.)
Some symbols of the transformation:
• A green rubber watch (mailed to me by Tom after I had "moved" to Chattanooga for a month) with a note saying Time to come home. Love, Tom.
• A song that happened to be playing the first time I ever tried out an i-pod on display at the Apple Store: (If I had to point to one moment, this would be it.)
... I had another dream about lions at the door
They weren't half as frightening as they were before
But I'm thinking about eternity
Some kind of ecstasy got a hold on me
And I'm wondering where the lions are...
I'm wondering where the lions are...
• A doorbell Tom & I painfully installed (big, green and glowing–looks like a gumdrop).
Other things that didn't hurt:
• White paint
• removed (too good to be true)
• New red roof
• removed (too disrespectful)
• removed (too dramatic)
• removed (too sad)
• removed (too personal)
• New window punched out with view to the ocean / lots of light
• removed (too obvioius)
• removed (smells bad)
• removed (too gushy)
• removed (too strident)
• removed (too weirdo)
• Getting the fireplace going (talk about luxury!)
• removed (too dumb)
• The fact that Tom is a great designer. When anything he designs finally comes into being, the results are wonderful.
The saga never ends, as everyone who lives in a house or hovel knows. But Katy, you're the one with the house story. You lived in a tiny apartment in NY (so small you had to move your bicycle out of the way for me to squeeze through the door with my suitcase). Then two years ago you moved to a 170-year-old building in TN. (4000 sq. ft?) When will we hear your house story?
18 comments:
I find this fascinating. I so admire you for letting us in on your house story and I love the green watch gift. Thanks, Linda ~ there's something here for all home owners.
All non-home owners too, come to think about it.
So glad you're happier now. I'm having an internal "house" crisis.
At the risk of sounding like the biggest Pollyanna ever...isn't the NOW so much more wonderful because of what you went through BEFORE? At least it always feels that way to me...I most savor getting to the other side (only in retrospect, of course...ha!) when I've had to climb over a huge hump to get there.
Everything slow here, especially me. Cosmos still blooming, the tallest stem is over 7 feet! That was the best 25 cent seed packet ever, and the pink blossoms against the brown brick do make me feel at home. Trouble is, I love my house unrepaired. Linda, Your first four items are the transformer workers (mind magicians?) for me: watch, song, doorbell, paint.Or is that time, music and time, the sound of a visitor, and a clean canvas? The rest is life and struggle and history, real as real can be, but like you say, they didn't hurt; they probably even helped, yeah? I can't yet compile a similar list. I'm working on it, slowly.
Mary Ann: Yes! Non-homeowners, stay that way!
SG: What do you mean exactly? Please say if you can.
Marilyn: Yes...I guess that's what I meant by,"If you hate something and grow to love it, sometimes I wonder if it means you're actually more attached to that thing than if you liked it to begin with." But I'd never do it again. But I'm glad
we did do it. It's one of those things.
Katy: The first four items are what you were looking for? OK, then, I'm deleting the others. We wish you had a blog. We want to hear more and see more.
You didn't have to delete the others! They were interesting. I, too, like to have a nice space. Only right now I'm so focused on internal turmoil I just want to create peace there. My psyche is like your house when you moved in. Cleaning out the cobwebs of the past 10 years and hauling stuff to the thriftshop. Maybe can blog about it sometime.
It's like the web site redesign. I found links that probably haven't worked for 5 years but slept through it all and didn't notice!
curious.... where do you fall on the Myers-Briggs? are S and J involved?
Flotsam & Jetsam: What would ever lead you to believe that there might be a "J" involved? (INFJ). A client made me take that test. Then she disappeared.
she didn't give you any work?
ha! i'm a P (INFP, but I and E are really close for me).
As a P I am pretty comfortable with ambivalence and ambiguity. I'm just saying, it could influence how much an unfinished environment could affect you perhaps?
drop the jargon, write something i can understand. Nobody takes those stupid tests, surely.
f and j: Yes! She did. But then she disappeared. I'm going to try to find her tomorrow.
clean it up: I know what you mean--sorry about that. The Myers-Briggs is a psychological test."J" stands for judgmental. ("i" for introverted, "n" for _______, "f" for feeling.) I don't know if anyone takes those tests except for me and Flotsam & Jetsam.
But a while ago I decided to make a great effort to not be judgmental anymore. I tried really hard. Then, driving down the street that very afternoon, I saw a guy from work. I thought: "Oh God, there goes that big Dodo." (as in Dodo bird.) Then another voice inside me (a syrupy one) said, "That's no Dodo. That's an innocent human being. Perfect in its own way." Then my real voice said, "No, that's a big Dodo for sure."
n for intuitive? it just helped me to understand why 98 percent of the population doesn't think the way I do... Oh, to be able to judge quickly, and not have to grope around for ages in a quagmire, just sifting through zillions of perceptions... sounds like a great relief. Funny, seems like you get to the same point in the end, either way.
Note to clean it up: We had a good friend who was a psychologist, and he had to have a guinea pig to take the test for his graduate school course work, and there I was. The dream workshop he held for us was great fun!
wow, so much to think about here. I agree, I wish Katy had a blog. The only times I haven't liked where I lived have been when I was forced to make a move I didn't want to make.
Sally: Katy says she doesn't have time. I told her she could just post once a week, or once a month! Just post photos if she wants.
I know! That was what was so crazy about our situation here. We CHOSE to make the move.
yes, it is awful to move when you don't want to
took me two years to sort of acclimate here
still wonder about it
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