Monday, February 11, 2008

Romance Tips

Valentine's Day is coming up. Here's a romance tip for guys, and one for girls.

Romance Tip for Guys
Scenario: An unidentified couple walks hand in hand on the beach. The sun is setting.

Unidentified Woman: I can't understand it. The scale says I've gained three pounds. Do you think the scale needs a new battery? Oh well. We did order that large vegetarian pizza with sausage last night. It's probably the pizza.

Unidentified Man:
But how could that be? The pizza itself didn't weigh three pounds to begin with.

Guys, do not model yourself after this unfortunate unidentified man!

Romance Tip for Girls

As mentioned above, Valentine's Day is Thursday. How does one prepare for the sexiest night of the year? Lose the Green Eggs & Ham t-shirt, because this occasion calls for an even more sophisticated type of elegance than usual. Sleepwear with a sheer, forbidden, ineffable quality is a must (see glamorous unidentified model below).
p.s. What I'd really like to know is: What do you sleep in?

13 comments:

James Brown said...

uh, darlin', where's the banana leather?

neckbone said...

Well, if you must know....I sleep in long nylon gowns year round. That's it. No undies, nuttin else. The nylon lets me twirl in bed without getting tangled up.

sal said...

something like a slip or minidress, spaghetti straps, preferably cotton

Denice said...

Hanes Men's all cotton V Neck, XL.

Namowal said...

A full length nightgown with spaghetti straps. When it's very cold I switch to something similar with long sleeves. Both are black and can pass for casual daytime clothes.

Sally said...

I sleep in a hostess outfit because you can never anticipate what's coming.

cupcakes perhaps?

otherwise slippery pajamas.

Marie said...

Flannel pajama pants, the shirt I wore that day, and makeup (if I put any on). Year-round. Company or no.

mary ann said...

I want to know what your friend Peter sleeps in...

sal said...

who IS Peter, anyway?

mari said...

I have an apron that my friend Irma made for me with that same sushi fabric. I have been known to knock myself out in the kitchen and subsequently fall asleep in it. Exciting. I know.

Marilyn said...

Honey, you are OOZING glamour compared to my nighttime attire...

Mean Jean said...

I love this pix in your pj's. I painted in my pj's all day yesterday!

Linda said...

Oh, Denise, hi!
Mean Jean, you came over!
I think we should all have a slumber party. We can dance to old Beatles albums. We can call people up and disguise our voices. Then go horseback riding the next day. Only I would stay home and make waffles and mimosas because I'm afraid I'd fall off.